Random Thoughts

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

My kids like to take turns being both & it's just so maddening!! Sometimes they do exactly the opposite of what I want them to do, why is that? I've tried everything like ignorinng the bad behavior because supposedly they're looking for a reaction from me. So I turn my head when they've tossed the entire bowl of pasta w/meatballs on my just cleaned tiled floor. Then I have tried consequences, no more dinner if you toss your plates. Yeah right. That was a much welcomed treat. I've tried no more toys if you keep throwing them at the dogs, only for them to move on to other destructing activities. Then I've tried stern talking, "NO THROWING!" Yup they giggled & decided to toss the sippy cup too. AAAAAAACKKK!! And then SWISH WHAM WOO...BIBBIDI BOBBODI BOO they turn into these lovable creatures who wink at me & wrinkle their nose in the cutest way that whatever they're babbling at the moment just HAS to mean....I love you mommy & I'm so sorry for being such a PITA. And so I melt.

When Nothing Else Matters

Recently I've been experiencing what some call lost professional ambition. Supposedly it happens to new moms. I remember a time when I was the epitome of feminism, the over achiever of my family, the one who would one day sit on the Supreme Court of U.S. Today, I am glad someone else made it before me, the pressure's off. Good luck Sonia! Now on to more important things on my plate, like nurturing & raising two little people & ensuring that this project is a success is on the top of my list. It's a project that will take years before it goes into production (out in the real world on their own). Its up to me (and J...but mostly me) that these two people become intelligent, positive, self-assured, self-sufficient, empowered women. So I guess saving humanity is much more important then financing hedge funds and working for a financial institution that is now owned by the government because it couldn't keep it's VERY LARGE check book balanced. Come to think of it I do have my ambitions focused on the right project.

Is It Really 50/50?

With women's lib or somewhere around there an idea originated that relationships/partnerships etc. would be equal now for both men & women. To me that means that my career is equally important, family and financial responsibilities is equal and domestic chores are also divided equally. Today, I find myself a part of a not-so-exclusive club of women who see their relationships as more 70/30 and at BEST 60/40. Yes, can you believe that I am not alone here?? Here I was delusional thinking my husband was not following the rules. And there would be serious consequences for not doing so. Only to my shock & horror I discovered on a mother's forum that I like to post many of my vents & questions for my moms with twins, that this was the norm. What the?! Why didn't anyone warn me? I didn't sign up for this. This is NOT how I envisioned my life is a mother & wife & cook & maid & personal shopper! More importantly, can someone tell me how I renegotiate the terms of this arrangement?! Laundry & grocery shopping doesn't even come close to his 50%.