Friday, July 2, 2010

Potty Training Twins...the nightmare


So maybe it wasn't a total nightmare maybe it was like someone gauging your eyes out but we had to go through 2 attempts before we got it right. Back in July I decided that this would be a good time for me to work with the girls and get them potty trained. They were talking now and much more independent and of course I had some vacation time coming up so I can fit this into my schedule. I also wanted them trained before we went for a week down to the Jersey shore.

Lesson #1
As a parent, we sometimes need to take the lead of our children. We can't control everything in their lives. There are times when they will be the ones to decide on certain things.

So this was my first mistake! But everything is a learning experience and I'm sure I'm bound to screw up more times than just this. And I probably won't win Mother Of The Year but that's life and we can't always get it right as much as we have their very best interest at heart.

Lesson #2
You are not alone! This is a critical lesson to my over-achieving-mommies out there. You know them, we're the ones that don't ask or want anyone's help. We whole-heartedly believe that there isn't anything we can't do, even with twins.

That's me! Since the day they were born I believe I could do ANYTHING with my twins on my own. I refuse to admit that having multiples is in any way limiting to the things I can do. But twins are hard work!!! It's exhausting and tiring and sometimes near impossible!! This is one of those things. There was no way I could possible pay close close attention to each child AND clean up the 500 accidents that happened over 4 days.

Here's some of my original post after the first attempt.

Good God in heaven what in the world have I done! What was I friggin thinking?? 3-day potty training, puh huh cheah right!! I hope they read this one day & realize they SO owe me! Everyone knows I'm a borderline germa-phobe and God only knows that was magnified by the nurses in the NICU. After 19 accidents & counting, OH my germs everywhere....I've been cleaning up so much urine all over my floor at the risk of getting some kind of bacterial disease. I swear if I ever hear one complaint to clean up their room they will be forced to read this over & over again. I've got urine all over the bottom cuff of my pj's and the thought of urine smacking me in the ankle every time I run into the bathroom to catch an accident is making me nauseous. I'll have to scrub my feet with a pumice stone or better yet maybe I'll need to soak myself in alcohol for a few hours.

And where the hell is their father?!!?? I guess part of me was wishing he would wake up this morning & say "I'm going to take the day off & help you potty train the girls." In my dreams. I'm sure he doesn't even know how I'm going about this. For all he knows I could have inserted a catheter into each of our daughters and make you pee on command. What else is new.

The plan is to let them have an accident in their bed because I don't know what I was thinking taking this on by myself and now I need the time to think this through, regroup, & most importantly bathe, a few 100 times. I have to find a better way. God, if you're listening a miracle of your caliber would be really good right about now. I have invoked a higher being & prayed a little cause I don't know if I'm going to make it. I can't be taking one child to the potty while the other one decides to pee on the floor at the same EXACT time. That's just not going to work.

I had hit rock bottom. I was tired and frustrated and disappointed. I was so sure this would work with my peanuts but, I was wrong. I made a mistake & should have never put them or myself through this. All I kept thinking was, gosh I SUCK at this parenting. How many more things will I F' up? I really hope I don't mess up on the important stuff. The worse part about it was that I felt all alone in my failure.

But we live and learn. Just like when we gave up the co-sleeping, gave up on the paci, or when we did away with the bottles and their sippy cups, this was going to be a process. As a parent I need to accept that some things will come quickly for my daughters and some things will take some time and I need to be patient and comforting and above all loving. All parents have high expectations and want our children to excel and be the best but it takes a good parent to realize when you have to give encouragement and guidance and when your child needs to just wait until they can get better at something.

A few months later we gave it another try. The girls were older they new about the potty and had learned how to pull up and off their pants. They had matured quite a bit in just a few months. This time we did the gradual process and I got LOTS of help, professional help! My job hosted a Potty Training Boot Camp! Alright! The parents got little seminar on the approach and agreed to abide by the Potty Training Oath, the kids got a whole ceremonious introduction to begin the week long program. So while I worked a few floors above the pro's helped my kids understand the difference between wet and dry and were the help I needed to keep things going at home each night. The weekend came and they hadn't been successful once but we had 3 more days to ourselves and finally they got it. YES THEY GOT IT!! Oh our joy to see our kids use the bathroom instead of the floor. I felt like a lottery winner folks that's right it was like a million dollars.

We were all happy about our success!



And then we danced!


And we even drank!


And we even fell over with joy!


Now it's not perfect they do have to be reminded but a couple of months later they now have learned the feeling of when you-gotta go and they tell us. We also have accepted that they WILL have accidents but that's the process of learning. Kinda like riding a bike they will fall and trip but we dust off & start again.

And that's how we potty trained our twins.