Good Bye Summer 2009

This is always a sad time of year for me when the weather starts changing & the jackets& closed shoes come out of storage. It's time to say good bye summer sandals, tank tops, and pretty flower dresses. We've had an eventful summer chock full of firsts for the girls. This summer they've gone from little infants just turning a year old to full fledged toddlers. They walk & run & babble & each day I discover a little more about their unique personalities. But it's been for us even if many times I needed a break to just chill out at home. I'm sure this will be the first of many busy busy summers to come.

I guess this post is about taking a look back on fun summer 2009....and bracing ourselves for the winter.

And these guys will miss summer too. Some days I think they hate the cold just as much as I do.

The runner is BACK

Many of you remember my early waddling days when I disocvered the inner runner in me.

Yesterday I made a come back & I ran my first 5k in well over a year & it was for TWO great causes. The first was Komen's Race for the Cure and the second was to revive the penguin runner that I know & love. Who in their right mind misses EXERCISE??!! I know it's weird but what can I tell you? It's true. Although I discovered my love for running late in life, I was missing it so much as if a part of me had been lost in the midst of being a mom to the peanuts.

Both, although not equally, are very much a part of my life (whether I like it or not) and after this race I realized I neeeeeeed to run. I find ME in running. I find time in running. I find time to reflect in running on the positives and not-so-positives things. I find mental organization, somehow. I find I can tackle the rest after a good run. There's something about hearing yourself breathe, the sounds of your feet hitting the road and way your mind can forget about all of your laundry lists and foucs on your goal . When you reach your goal, you feel like you've accomplished something great, even when nothing gets checked off on your to-do lists.

This is not to say that it was easy! I think it was somewhere after mile 2 my legs were aching, my shoulders were tight, my chest was heaving, & I was sweating, in a not-so-pretty way. Sometime after mile 3 I hear my name & turn around to see my team captain (bless her for setting this up for us AND still having the energy to SPEAK), and I remember thinking if I have to say one word I might just collapse right here & now. So all I could manage at that moment was a wave or maybe it was more of a lifting of the arm, like in the movie Awakenings, to let her know I hear you & I see you but I'm about die but not until after the finish line. The only thing that kept me going was looking back at the people I was passing & feeling like I was going to WIN! Really, you don't WIN anything but you do finish & that feels pretty incredible.

If I did win something, my acceptance speech would go something like this. I'd like to thank my Race For the Cure Team. You guys are great atheletes with gracious hearts! Racing with you ladies was an honor & I do hope our contribution will help find a cure for cancer one day. I want to also thank my DH & my peanuts for supporting me today even if it meant waking up SO early on a SUNDAY. I promise we can have pizza for dinner tonight. YUM. And I hope to see more races in my future not only for me but I want my girls to see that mommy can do other things besides laundry, floors, feedings, & fixing all boo boos. Thank You!

Some of my running buddies...

My kids reeeeeally excited about my race...mmm NOT! Or maybe they're thinking "what's up with the getup mom?"

And me SO HAPPY because I'm about to EAT :)

A Day For The Baby Books

Lots has been keeping us busy these days, but today has basically trumped anything else that's been going on. My itty bitties started "Early PreSchool" today. Yes, there is such a thing. It's a little more than glorified daycare. They have a real dedicated classroom with a teacher and a couple of aides and tables & chairs with their names on them. They have a schedule to their day (albeit a loose one...they ARE still toodlers) and they do projects during the day. The teachers take pics of their daily art projects to take home to the parents. And we hope, they learn something before they actually get to the real deal of Pre School which is not that far away for us (next year).

Anyhow, I felt my heart ache. It was an ache similar to the one felt the day I left for a full day of work when they were only 4 months old. That was different though. I don't know if they noticed I was gone & they were still in the comfort of their own home, familiar & comforting. Today, they definitely noticed I was gone. And just to make sure I wasn't going anywhere so fast Valentina held on to my neck for a while. I felt like I was leaving them in an unknown world without me there for security or to guide them through it. J's advice was to just drop off & leave, like ripping the band-aid off in one shot. Yeah, well I'll never be the one to rip the band-aid off my kids. That said, I was there for about an hour & a half, mostly out of their sight but I was there. Ok, the real truth is I was in the director's office watching the monitors blubbering worse then the kids. Oh goodness, what must these people be thinking?! Crazy lady, we're not going to KEEP them! Or something along those lines, but whaterver. I am their MOTHER and I get a free pass to cry at any event that's even remotely emotional.

Like any decision surrounding the girls, I can't help but question relentlessly whether or not I made the right decision. I read all the books & researched all the possibilities. I interviewed every school & teacher available. I went over policies & scenarios as best I could. Yet, I can't help but wonder if I made the right choice. This is the kind of mind numbing questioning that keeps you up all night before the 1st day of school. It's what makes you suddenly nauseous in the car ride wondering if you just go back home & do this another day. It's what even makes you think maybe you should turn back because the girls might get car sick & well, you can't show up with 2 kids all puked up on the FIRST day of school. Right? But in the end I kept telling myself this is what we decided & what we agreed we wanted to do. And the peanuts will be fine. This is just another step up in the process of growing & learning. And if I kept saying this over & over it would stop me from turning the car around & heading right back home & leave this for next year!

I held fast and survived the day, not without a few more water works, but I did it. I stopped by at lunch time to find out they some lunch & were having a hard time with napping but eventually their little tired bodies gave out & down they went. When they woke up they had a snack & mommy was their to greet them which I think they liked. And I was incredibly relieved we had all survived yet another milestone on our journey.

And some captured moments that we'll one day look back on & think, man things were so simple back then :)

Here we made it past the front door and IN the classrom.

My kid is looking skeptical here.

Miss Meghan quickly figured out the way to my peanuts' heart is through their stomachs!

Nothing like a good cracker to help break the ice.

And finally some of the veterans decided to help welcome the peanuts to their new class!

Thanks little friends & I think we may actually try this again.