Good Bye Summer 2009

This is always a sad time of year for me when the weather starts changing & the jackets& closed shoes come out of storage. It's time to say good bye summer sandals, tank tops, and pretty flower dresses. We've had an eventful summer chock full of firsts for the girls. This summer they've gone from little infants just turning a year old to full fledged toddlers. They walk & run & babble & each day I discover a little more about their unique personalities. But it's been for us even if many times I needed a break to just chill out at home. I'm sure this will be the first of many busy busy summers to come.

I guess this post is about taking a look back on fun summer 2009....and bracing ourselves for the winter.

And these guys will miss summer too. Some days I think they hate the cold just as much as I do.

The runner is BACK

Many of you remember my early waddling days when I disocvered the inner runner in me.

Yesterday I made a come back & I ran my first 5k in well over a year & it was for TWO great causes. The first was Komen's Race for the Cure and the second was to revive the penguin runner that I know & love. Who in their right mind misses EXERCISE??!! I know it's weird but what can I tell you? It's true. Although I discovered my love for running late in life, I was missing it so much as if a part of me had been lost in the midst of being a mom to the peanuts.

Both, although not equally, are very much a part of my life (whether I like it or not) and after this race I realized I neeeeeeed to run. I find ME in running. I find time in running. I find time to reflect in running on the positives and not-so-positives things. I find mental organization, somehow. I find I can tackle the rest after a good run. There's something about hearing yourself breathe, the sounds of your feet hitting the road and way your mind can forget about all of your laundry lists and foucs on your goal . When you reach your goal, you feel like you've accomplished something great, even when nothing gets checked off on your to-do lists.

This is not to say that it was easy! I think it was somewhere after mile 2 my legs were aching, my shoulders were tight, my chest was heaving, & I was sweating, in a not-so-pretty way. Sometime after mile 3 I hear my name & turn around to see my team captain (bless her for setting this up for us AND still having the energy to SPEAK), and I remember thinking if I have to say one word I might just collapse right here & now. So all I could manage at that moment was a wave or maybe it was more of a lifting of the arm, like in the movie Awakenings, to let her know I hear you & I see you but I'm about die but not until after the finish line. The only thing that kept me going was looking back at the people I was passing & feeling like I was going to WIN! Really, you don't WIN anything but you do finish & that feels pretty incredible.

If I did win something, my acceptance speech would go something like this. I'd like to thank my Race For the Cure Team. You guys are great atheletes with gracious hearts! Racing with you ladies was an honor & I do hope our contribution will help find a cure for cancer one day. I want to also thank my DH & my peanuts for supporting me today even if it meant waking up SO early on a SUNDAY. I promise we can have pizza for dinner tonight. YUM. And I hope to see more races in my future not only for me but I want my girls to see that mommy can do other things besides laundry, floors, feedings, & fixing all boo boos. Thank You!

Some of my running buddies...

My kids reeeeeally excited about my race...mmm NOT! Or maybe they're thinking "what's up with the getup mom?"

And me SO HAPPY because I'm about to EAT :)

A Day For The Baby Books

Lots has been keeping us busy these days, but today has basically trumped anything else that's been going on. My itty bitties started "Early PreSchool" today. Yes, there is such a thing. It's a little more than glorified daycare. They have a real dedicated classroom with a teacher and a couple of aides and tables & chairs with their names on them. They have a schedule to their day (albeit a loose one...they ARE still toodlers) and they do projects during the day. The teachers take pics of their daily art projects to take home to the parents. And we hope, they learn something before they actually get to the real deal of Pre School which is not that far away for us (next year).

Anyhow, I felt my heart ache. It was an ache similar to the one felt the day I left for a full day of work when they were only 4 months old. That was different though. I don't know if they noticed I was gone & they were still in the comfort of their own home, familiar & comforting. Today, they definitely noticed I was gone. And just to make sure I wasn't going anywhere so fast Valentina held on to my neck for a while. I felt like I was leaving them in an unknown world without me there for security or to guide them through it. J's advice was to just drop off & leave, like ripping the band-aid off in one shot. Yeah, well I'll never be the one to rip the band-aid off my kids. That said, I was there for about an hour & a half, mostly out of their sight but I was there. Ok, the real truth is I was in the director's office watching the monitors blubbering worse then the kids. Oh goodness, what must these people be thinking?! Crazy lady, we're not going to KEEP them! Or something along those lines, but whaterver. I am their MOTHER and I get a free pass to cry at any event that's even remotely emotional.

Like any decision surrounding the girls, I can't help but question relentlessly whether or not I made the right decision. I read all the books & researched all the possibilities. I interviewed every school & teacher available. I went over policies & scenarios as best I could. Yet, I can't help but wonder if I made the right choice. This is the kind of mind numbing questioning that keeps you up all night before the 1st day of school. It's what makes you suddenly nauseous in the car ride wondering if you just go back home & do this another day. It's what even makes you think maybe you should turn back because the girls might get car sick & well, you can't show up with 2 kids all puked up on the FIRST day of school. Right? But in the end I kept telling myself this is what we decided & what we agreed we wanted to do. And the peanuts will be fine. This is just another step up in the process of growing & learning. And if I kept saying this over & over it would stop me from turning the car around & heading right back home & leave this for next year!

I held fast and survived the day, not without a few more water works, but I did it. I stopped by at lunch time to find out they some lunch & were having a hard time with napping but eventually their little tired bodies gave out & down they went. When they woke up they had a snack & mommy was their to greet them which I think they liked. And I was incredibly relieved we had all survived yet another milestone on our journey.

And some captured moments that we'll one day look back on & think, man things were so simple back then :)

Here we made it past the front door and IN the classrom.

My kid is looking skeptical here.

Miss Meghan quickly figured out the way to my peanuts' heart is through their stomachs!

Nothing like a good cracker to help break the ice.

And finally some of the veterans decided to help welcome the peanuts to their new class!

Thanks little friends & I think we may actually try this again.

Fit As A Fiddle

My little peanuts had their 15 month appointment a couple of weeks ago with Dr. M and their progress is great! They are still itty bitty little peanuts but they are strong & healthy & growing...

Catalina

31 inches

22lbs 5oz

Valentina

31 1/4 inches

21 lbs 14oz

And when it rains & REALLY rains...but we have to make the best of it. As they say, the show must go on & the entertainment must continue. Otherwise I can go stir crazy if I'm in the house too long. But to help keep the peanuts healthy we had our rain coats. These things were so cute! I'm not sure if the girls felt the same way.



Off we go to grandmas for a play date with our cousin Eli!





And a playin we did!







Lots of boys toys...thankfully the girls can easily adjust.

Random Thoughts

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

My kids like to take turns being both & it's just so maddening!! Sometimes they do exactly the opposite of what I want them to do, why is that? I've tried everything like ignorinng the bad behavior because supposedly they're looking for a reaction from me. So I turn my head when they've tossed the entire bowl of pasta w/meatballs on my just cleaned tiled floor. Then I have tried consequences, no more dinner if you toss your plates. Yeah right. That was a much welcomed treat. I've tried no more toys if you keep throwing them at the dogs, only for them to move on to other destructing activities. Then I've tried stern talking, "NO THROWING!" Yup they giggled & decided to toss the sippy cup too. AAAAAAACKKK!! And then SWISH WHAM WOO...BIBBIDI BOBBODI BOO they turn into these lovable creatures who wink at me & wrinkle their nose in the cutest way that whatever they're babbling at the moment just HAS to mean....I love you mommy & I'm so sorry for being such a PITA. And so I melt.

When Nothing Else Matters

Recently I've been experiencing what some call lost professional ambition. Supposedly it happens to new moms. I remember a time when I was the epitome of feminism, the over achiever of my family, the one who would one day sit on the Supreme Court of U.S. Today, I am glad someone else made it before me, the pressure's off. Good luck Sonia! Now on to more important things on my plate, like nurturing & raising two little people & ensuring that this project is a success is on the top of my list. It's a project that will take years before it goes into production (out in the real world on their own). Its up to me (and J...but mostly me) that these two people become intelligent, positive, self-assured, self-sufficient, empowered women. So I guess saving humanity is much more important then financing hedge funds and working for a financial institution that is now owned by the government because it couldn't keep it's VERY LARGE check book balanced. Come to think of it I do have my ambitions focused on the right project.

Is It Really 50/50?

With women's lib or somewhere around there an idea originated that relationships/partnerships etc. would be equal now for both men & women. To me that means that my career is equally important, family and financial responsibilities is equal and domestic chores are also divided equally. Today, I find myself a part of a not-so-exclusive club of women who see their relationships as more 70/30 and at BEST 60/40. Yes, can you believe that I am not alone here?? Here I was delusional thinking my husband was not following the rules. And there would be serious consequences for not doing so. Only to my shock & horror I discovered on a mother's forum that I like to post many of my vents & questions for my moms with twins, that this was the norm. What the?! Why didn't anyone warn me? I didn't sign up for this. This is NOT how I envisioned my life is a mother & wife & cook & maid & personal shopper! More importantly, can someone tell me how I renegotiate the terms of this arrangement?! Laundry & grocery shopping doesn't even come close to his 50%.

My Girls Like To Party All The Time

Eddie Murphy sang it best. While I find these social outings sometimes a little stressful, the peanuts on the otherhand find them fully enjoyable. Sometimes they're at their best and sometimes, well, not so much. A lot of it depends on the weather, the entertainment, and of course, the FOOD! Yes, I take pride in this afterall they are MYYY children. Sometimes I do see some of J in them when they're a little cranky from the heat & would prefer cold liquids over hot foods. But overall, they do enjoy getting out & socializing & being IN the mix of things.

Socializing also means exploring & for me it means chasing. Chasing around not one, but two little peanuts is some kind of aerobic exercise, I'm sure. If I can corner the market on this new phenomenon to lose weight I'm sure I can make a million bucks. This also an opportunity to learn about the party etiquette and meet other newbies of the party scene.

Proper Attire

How long will her nicely combed hair & bow last?...hmmm??? 10 seconds.



How exciting!



Outdoors makes for an even better party!



Good choice of drink Val, it's mommy's favorite drink too!

Acceptable Forms of Dance

Here's my Cati rockin out.



My little Val being dainty.



And my other child itchin to hit the floor like the chick in front of her..uuggh.

Waiting...for the guest of honor to blow out the candles before having cake! I must admit that's a hard one.

Happy 4th Birthday Nicholas!



Happy 1st Birthday David!



Sometimes they just need something to chew on until the cake arrives.



And sometimes we can wait patiently by the cake table :)

And then there's the really challenging fact that we're still a little too small to parttake in some of the events made for the older kids.

Val really wants this kid's baseball.



Cati's not too happy that she can't play this game...whatever it is.

But the good news is that we're a few steps ahead then these even littler guys.



This is baby Justin who's only 2 months old.



And this is little Christopher & he's 5 months old.

Too cute!