Lots has been keeping us busy these days, but today has basically trumped anything else that's been going on. My itty bitties started "Early PreSchool" today. Yes, there is such a thing. It's a little more than glorified daycare. They have a real dedicated classroom with a teacher and a couple of aides and tables & chairs with their names on them. They have a schedule to their day (albeit a loose one...they ARE still toodlers) and they do projects during the day. The teachers take pics of their daily art projects to take home to the parents. And we hope, they learn something before they actually get to the real deal of Pre School which is not that far away for us (next year).
Anyhow, I felt my heart ache. It was an ache similar to the one felt the day I left for a full day of work when they were only 4 months old. That was different though. I don't know if they noticed I was gone & they were still in the comfort of their own home, familiar & comforting. Today, they definitely noticed I was gone. And just to make sure I wasn't going anywhere so fast Valentina held on to my neck for a while. I felt like I was leaving them in an unknown world without me there for security or to guide them through it. J's advice was to just drop off & leave, like ripping the band-aid off in one shot. Yeah, well I'll never be the one to rip the band-aid off my kids. That said, I was there for about an hour & a half, mostly out of their sight but I was there. Ok, the real truth is I was in the director's office watching the monitors blubbering worse then the kids. Oh goodness, what must these people be thinking?! Crazy lady, we're not going to KEEP them! Or something along those lines, but whaterver. I am their MOTHER and I get a free pass to cry at any event that's even remotely emotional.
Like any decision surrounding the girls, I can't help but question relentlessly whether or not I made the right decision. I read all the books & researched all the possibilities. I interviewed every school & teacher available. I went over policies & scenarios as best I could. Yet, I can't help but wonder if I made the right choice. This is the kind of mind numbing questioning that keeps you up all night before the 1st day of school. It's what makes you suddenly nauseous in the car ride wondering if you just go back home & do this another day. It's what even makes you think maybe you should turn back because the girls might get car sick & well, you can't show up with 2 kids all puked up on the FIRST day of school. Right? But in the end I kept telling myself this is what we decided & what we agreed we wanted to do. And the peanuts will be fine. This is just another step up in the process of growing & learning. And if I kept saying this over & over it would stop me from turning the car around & heading right back home & leave this for next year!
And some captured moments that we'll one day look back on & think, man things were so simple back then :)
Here we made it past the front door and IN the classrom.
My kid is looking skeptical here.
Miss Meghan quickly figured out the way to my peanuts' heart is through their stomachs!
Nothing like a good cracker to help break the ice.
And finally some of the veterans decided to help welcome the peanuts to their new class!
Thanks little friends & I think we may actually try this again.
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1 comment:
I went through this with Claire this summer. She started "camp" which was basically an intro to nursery school program, like you described. We were both miserable that first day. I can't remember when I've sobbed harder. By the end of the first week she was over it "I go to CAMP today, Mama!" She starts 5 mornings a week at the nursery school next Monday, provided she's not at Camp Nana, while I'm having this second one.
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